After years of the game being left for dead on the Vita with no translation the mad lads at Play-Asia released Seven Pirates H ib the Switch. It's an ecchi pirate themed RPG, where the character stats are dependent on their boobs. You level up by changing the shape and size of the girl's breasts, altering different overall stats. Initially it's a bit hard to remember everything, but the most basic example is bigger size means more attack, while smaller grants speed. As you increase your stats you may also learn new skills, but it's a bit unclear what are the requirements. You walk around different island fighting monsters in a turn based combat and uncovering treasure. In terms of equipment it's rather light since you get only bras and panties, which is rather simplified from the other games in the Genkai Tokki series. Speaking of simplified, the story and characters are rather basic. Otton (series mascot) falls from the sky on Parute and gives her a tool to search for treasure, while also teaching her boob enhancement technique, which she accepts, because she's rather flat. From there on Parute meets and tames several monster girls in rapid succession, to the point where it felt rushed. They all seem one-note and some of them are pretty dumb. Waffle is air headed and naive, Jewel is pretty stupid and easily scared, Claret is violent and manipulative and Saqra is lazy and pretends to be evil. Parute seems the only one with a bit more depth to her, but this may change. There are also the Booby Kin who are a mysterious race building and operating the ships. You get quests for them, trade for different items and materials and get map fragments allowing you to explore further.

I figured out how the spring/winter board works and it's rather tricky. In order to change to season to spring you have to increase the temperature to the maximum by collecting the yellow plus items and for winter you have to do the reverse by going for the blue minus ones. You have to plan around that since some missions are only available in a particular season, which could be a problem since these items constantly change places and introduce a lot of randomness, which is part of the reason I couldn't get them all. The next board is a ghost hunting girl and this one is really complex. In order to damage the ghosts you have to go for the heart spheres, which are only revealed for a limited time once you hit the gong. Not only that, but the pivots randomly appear and disappear making accurate ball drops nearly impossible. This one has at least 3 phases changing a layout every time. Despite my best efforts I ran out of balls for the final phase and couldn't complete the missions there.

Amy slowly comes to terms with her father's role as a spy and we learn about what she looks for in a relationship. Kamala tells us more about her family issues. Surprisingly the relationship with Vel progressed a bit. In the library you overhear her talking to sir Grand, which leads me to believe that they may be 2 people in that armour. You get to play some board games with Giselle. She's a stuck up elitist about it with no sense of humour, but in the end she appreciates you playing with her. You go out into the woods again to gather ingredients for her potions and she wanders off. She is then kidnapped by Varetear, which is rather immersion breaking since we already captured him - they should've just used a generic thug for this. You then talk to Hugh, who organises a rescue operation. You learned that Giselle has been a bandits prisoner before the doctor adopted her. One would think that having such a traumatic experience would make her more cautious, but that's excused with her dedication to her cause. Either way I don't think it was reasonable to blame the Squire for Giselle's mistakes.

Pachi Pachi 2 is a game simulating one of those pachinko machines that are so popular in Japan. You drop balls and hit different targets accumulating points similar to pinball. There are different missions you have achieve like hitting a given target a number of times. Sometimes it's not immediately clear how you can achieve that or even make that target appear since you may have to alter the stage by hitting some switch. A good tactic is to fulfil missions as quickly as possible since they award you extra balls and unlock new missions. The game can feel a bit random at times since initially it's hard to assert where exactly the ball will go, but after a while you get the knack of at least targeting the area you want. There are unlockable images in the gallery, but it's not immediately obvious what you need to do to get them.

Fingun is a lewd shmup with some pretty creative bosses. Each stage is just one of those. You can shoot and change the left-right direction, which is useful since you have to be constantly moving to avoid your enemies and their bullet hells. There are upgrades which you can pick up which provide you with extra shots or limited shields, but you lose them if you restart a level.The battles aren't too difficult, but you do have to pay attention to what's going on. The boss designs are funny and diverse. Once you beat the game you unlock a gallery with some sexy pictures. This is a surprisingly fun game, so if you are OK with a lewd shmup, it's a great option.

Completed the remaining cups, including the Championship one, which was rather challenging. It took me 2 tries and this was the first time where I lost a life. Beating that one rolls the credits and unlocks new armour and a new difficulty for the cups.

Mario Strikers Battle League Football is a fun game, but severely lacking in single player content. The roster is also rather weak with head scratching omissions like Daisy. The gameplay is engaging, but some small things like not being able to control the goalkeeper hold it back. The random elements like items and some input reading on behalf of the CPU could lead to some frustrating situations. I can only recommend this game if you plan to play it with friends as a party title or want to be competitive in multiplayer.

Warlocks 2 is a 2D action game, where you pick a character and complete missions. I chose Kheera the Shaman, which in hindsight may not be the best pick for a solo run since she has many support skills. There is a hub in space where you travel to different worlds solving different problems for the residents. The skills you unlock as you level up work in a weird way. Your basic attack builds focus in combat, which unlocks the usage of the more advanced abilities. The issue is that you immediately lose this focus when you leave combat, so you can't use say a heal. I'd rather the game just had a mana system. Another issue is that these skills are assigned to the shoulder buttons, which normally isn't a problem, but if you have 5 abilities you have to pick which to leave out rather than assign it to one of the unused face buttons. You also get some standard equipment features. So far I haven't faced any boss monsters, which is a bit disappointing.

Pretty Girls Speed is another game in the Pretty Girls series, where you play against some women, but this time around you don't really unlock extra costumes for them. The game itself is a hectic card battle, where you have to put down cards as fast as possible by following a sequence. This requires some fast reaction times and sometimes strategy, but it could very much be based on luck depending on your initial hand. The A.I. could of course destroy you, but they somehow balanced it out. Defeating all the girls in Battle Mode unlocks a rather lacking gallery feature where you can view their images. You can barely move them around and the zoom out feature doesn't even allow you to have them in full view. At least you get several different backgrounds, but they are specific for each character and can't be changed. The Challenge Mode has 100 battles against the same characters, but each is a single round (unlike the 2 in Battle Mode). Not sure what this unlocks, but the gameplay is fun enough for me to complete it.

Zorro The Chronicles is an action adventure game, where you play as the iconic character (or his sister with the same move set). It is obviously targeted towards kids with the more cartoony presentation, but that's not a bad thing. Each level is structured as a separate mission where you engage enemy soldiers in combat. The mechanics are like a more clunky and limited Arkham game. You can stealth kill enemies, jump on them from a vantage point and do an instant takedown once you have enough energy. There's also an incredibly potent counter move. The environment here plays a big part. If you manage to push a soldier into a hazzard they'll be instantly killed. Much like the Arkham games it's all about crowd control and prioritising more dangerous enemies like ones with shields or guns.The story is barely there since there's no dialogue, but you get the gist of what Zorro needs to do. The levels are well designed, but sometimes the checkpoints can be rather sparse, so one must remain vigilant.

Neko Secret Room is another one of those lewd games where you arrange the images of sexy ladies in various states of undress, but it has some minimal extra features like a customisable avatar to run around, dance and play darts. These are functional, but the game would've been pretty much the same without them since the main meat is the image puzzles. The art is pretty good and it's a generally relaxing fan service game.

Completed the first 3 cups in the game. The tournaments here operate on a 2-life basis where each loser has a second chance. The AI didn't seem as aggressive as the single CPU battle, or perhaps I'm just getting more used to the mechanics and tactics of play.

After dealing with the annoying code puzzle and a couple others Scarlet got her equipment back. Then she had one final showdown with LeFaba, who transported her into a psycho void, from which our heroine escaped by solving some more puzzles. The story concluded with the 3 people Scarlet helped coming to her aid and capturing LeFaba. We get a generic happy ending and Scarlet's getting back with her band in the real world, but then there was some sequel baiting implying that what she saw was actually real. I guess there are different endings depending on how you choose to deal with LeFaba's minions, but I'm not too interested in exploring those.

Overall the game has gorgeous art, great music, creative story, but unfortunately some contrived puzzles. The tasks are not that difficult, but one often has to wonder about the minor specifics of how exactly the puzzle works leading you to guessing. The minor combat encounters are pretty useless and so are the consumable items you collect - the game could've done without those elements. I'm not the biggest fan of point and click adventure games and there were some elements I enjoyed here, but some of the game design elements I found lacking.

Metal Max Xeno Reborn is a JRPG, where you roam a post apocalyptic wasteland and you have to rely on your trusty tank to deal with most enemies. This is necessary since your character would do much less damage to most of them, which is a more unique and grounded take in comparison to most games in the genre. You can collect new weapons and upgrade your tank, allowing you to approach combat in different ways. So far the best strategy has been to ambush the monsters and shoot them before you engage in the actual turn based combat, which seems a bit simplistic and automatic, but this may change as I unlock new equipment. Eventually I found a doggy, which becomes one of your teammates, since it joins you into battle, but you can't really control it. It has its separate skill tree and equipment slots.

I've tried the modern release of Night Trap - a classic FMV game with some awesome 80s cheesiness. You are tasked with the control of multiple traps in a house where some shady things have been going on. You must capture the weird black-clad figures but triggering the traps in the different rooms. The game is all about time management and flipping between the different screens. If you miss too many enemies it's game over, so basically you have to memorise where and when they pop up. To add to that at certain points the colour activating the traps will change, so you must pay attention to people telling you when they flip the code. Another design issue is that you can miss parts of the dialogue and thus story while you are busy dealing with the enemies. My guess is that you have to sacrifice one for the other and the game requires multiple playthroughs until you learn and witness everything. The controls take a bit of getting used to, but the game is still worth a try just for its wacky premise.

Mario Strikers Battle League Football is a fun football game starring Mario characters. I went through the training to get a hang of how the game functions and it takes a bit of getting used to. Aside from the usual football moves like different passes and shots you can violently tackle your opponents, use items and activate a hyper strike, which if successful earns you 2 goals.There's also gear which you can equip to your characters to fit your play style. The game doesn't seem to have much single player content aside from matches against the CPU and some cups you can participate in. There aren't that many characters either, with the baffling exclusion of Daisy.

Did a playthrough of the newly released TMNT Shredder's Revenge with my favourite turtle - Michelangelo. I loved many elements of the game, especially all the cartoon references like Leatherhead and the Punk Frogs. Having some of the original VAs is also appreciated. The combat is responsive and the multiplayer mechanics are great. The game is decent sized for a beat 'em up and the levels are well designed. If I have to nit-pick something is the lack of a gallery with concept art and such and the double jump is slightly tricky to pull off, which could lead to some damage, especially during the trap-heavy levels. Overall the game is fantastic and it's an easy recommendation to fans of the genre or those who liked the cartoon.

My Lovely Wife is a simulation game where you manage a bunch of succubi with the ultimate goal to revive Jake's dead wife Luna. You do so by gathering energy (Carnal Essense) and giving it to the mysterious researcher Phillip, who is providing you with materials to summon the succubi. You can also sacrifice the succubi to increase Jake's stats, which in turn unlocks more conversation options with them. Activities you can assign them to earn you gold and Carnal Essence or you can train them at a cost for them to become more effective. When you do the same activity repeatedly the succubus may get a random trait, which could be good or bad. You can also take the succubi on dates, which could earn you an image once the relationship level is high enough.

Scarlet's adventure continues in a frozen wood to find a way to defeat the Beast. There are multiple ways, but I ultimately decided to give Leopold some liquid courage and he saves you from the Beast when it comes after you. Unfortunately for Scarlet LeFaba attacks and murders our heroine sending her on another loop, during which the Womping Stick was upgraded. This didn't help too much since Scarlet was captured and send to the dungeons instead. Then I got stumped by another one of those code entering "puzzles".

Make Love Not War is another one of those image puzzle games (similar to Hentai Uni) where you undress characters until they are topless. The art is pretty good and the gameplay is simple. It's a rather easy and relaxing game. The only issue I had was that the game looped once I completed all the stages. The gallery could've used some UI removal too. If you are looking for a quick lewd game to try this one is a good choice.

Tried Kao The Kangaroo - a pretty typical 3D platformer with a surprisingly deep story. Kao is summoned by his sister in a dream and then he's off to find both her and her father. He takes the boxing gloves of his dad and starts his quest. You have a double jump, a roll, several different types of attack and the ability to throw objects at enemies. You collect gold, spend on health upgrades. There is a open level hub, while the actual stages seem more linear.

Scarlet managed to escape the wolf-man this time around and she reconstructed Punkin Jack. When she did that they both exited the Wispy Hollow. Then the time loop replayed, but this time around Mama Do didn't crush our heroine, because Jack dosed her with some sleeping gas. Unfortunately further in the forest there was an ambush of another one of LeFaba's minions - Bad Baboo - and Scarlet was killed again. This time when the time loop was activated, Scarlet didn't have to replay her actions in the Wispy Hollow, giving her something of a checkpoint. In the next area she has the option to help Ulysses Talus - a Tinman sort of character. You can find his heart in the level and much like Jack he helps you survive against Baboo. There was one particularly nasty puzzle, where it wasn't clear what needs to be done and activating the witch sense ability made things worse since it gave a misleading hint. What you need to do in the monkey's hideout is find the different furniture in two nearly identical rooms and mark it on a panel. It's not really that difficult once you know what you need to do. Scarlet met her end at the paws of Bret Wolf and now she has to find a way to neutralise him. From what I gather there are multiple ways to handle these enemies - by either helping a companion or sabotaging the enemy in some way. This may reflect on the ending you get.

This was another pretty lame team choice. How the hell would you know that Billy and Rock are neat freaks and even if you did, how does Kukri fit into that team? It was a major missed opportunity to not put Rock in the same team as Geese.

Beach Girls Don't Lie in Summer is a memory game where you go to the beach and you are asked questions from various girls, where they shouldn't catch you in a lie. On paper it's a cool idea, but the implementation here is poor. The questions are pretty basic, but the idea is that you have to pick an answer for each and stick with it - basically you are found to be lying when you give 2 different answers to the same question. The problem with that is the timer - it becomes faster and faster to the point where you don't have time to read the question. The best strategy I found is to generally pick the shortest answers and just read the answers when a new question pops up. As you progress you earn gems, which can be used for skipping questions or extra lives. The former can be useful when you encounter a long question or you are unsure, but the extra lives never worked for me, since I died immediately upon restart. The one good thing about the game is the artwork, but they even managed to mess up the gallery. You spend gems and you are awarded a random image meaning that you can spend hours trying to get the missing pictures. I'd say avoid this game - it's shallow and not really worth it.

I was quite stumped as to who could fit in a team with Rock and Kukri, so I decided to include Geese since he is Rock's father. It turns out that this is not the special team setup, but both Geese and Rock are fun to play as.


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